Today i am going to share some personal junk with you all today....well i have a panic disorder....you may know this if you have been reading for a while....i am not sure where it exactly comes from however im sure it is a culmination of many things i may or may not have dealt with over the past 20 years....i do know that having two small children has definitely put my nerves on edge....but its more than that....i often wonder if this is a midlife crisis...i am forty the mid point of life....when i was younger in my 20s i chose to ignore my creative side as just a silly hobby and i chose to study something more practical....which i ended up disliking very much....so the last 12 years have really been devoted to DOING what i like and i think i am fairly decent at....which has been art....i have been trying to create a body of "real work"(whatever that means) in the last few....this is what forced me to open my shop on etsy and take my work else where....but i sometimes think its not good enough....who am i fooling....what are you doing....your work stinks....whats the point....add that to all the other self hating doubting thoughts most women have like im too fat....im too ugly....im too this or that...even when you have friends and a very wonderful husband that love you in every way....i started therapy this summer but the attacks have become worse....how funny? the last one landed me in the er this past saturday....i really thought i was dying.... panic attacks arent supposed to last for hours are they? So i thought i would share today because sometimes this blog can get kind of fluffy and well my world isnt always so....id like to thank Laura Carter for letting me use her painting
Hiding Behind Fear....how appropriate....
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